if..

hihi, balik lagi dong,

gak tau kenapa akhir-akhir ini doyan nulis. mengotori temlen tiap jam *sorry for spamming your timeline my dearest followers*

gue baru aja blog walking kesini. isi blognya menyenangkan. gue jadi bisa mikir sendiri soal cinta.
iya, gue tau akhir-akhir ini temlen gue lagi dihiasi kata-kata puitis kampret yang sering banget di-RT sama temen-temen gue yang curcol. *halah*

i was confused about where i had to start, but let me try it.

when you are between of two loves, everybody says that you suppose to choose one.
comparing, against your heart, think of parents, happiness, blah..blah..blah..

but in my case, i choose to be let it flow without any plans inside. crazy? yes.

if he loves you, then he'll stay. if it's not, i am pretty sure, that God will make him disappear in anyways.
other side, if another one loves you, he will come back whatever it takes.
simple? yes.

do not do any beg between both of them. just let it flow.  and try not to expect any of it. because much expectations lead to disappointment. rite?

time will heal, i try to believe, and keep the faith.

i am just a lil bit tired thinking of what happens next.

if he knows you texted him, no reply but he can update some stuff in public, let him.
if he asks you for help but there is no "thanks", let him.
if he wants to do "some stuff with you", but you refused, and he still asks you, let him.
if he knows you wait for his mention, but he replies his "girl friend", let him
if he lies to you about something, keep doing nice, let him.
if he never talk about his feeling, but he knows you are waiting, let him.
if he deleted his history of any conversation that made you insecure without telling you with whom, let him.
if he refuses to sit down, hugs you then calms you down, let him.

maybe other peoples say you are fucking idiot, but they dont know, you feel it. you are waiting what is "God Answer" if God says no, then you have more strength to be happier than this.

do whatever you want. go wherever you want.

so, i am here. to see. do you really mean that you love me after "that session"